- I told no one for a few years (Because I felt shame)
- I became more introverted & began choosing more serious friendships (My need for building of trust with everyone I associated with)
- I relaxed my care with my physical appearance (I did not want to draw attention to my body or to myself in any sort of sexual way)
- I developed a more humorous personality (Great defense mechanism to depression or pain)
- I became more structured with my rights & wrongs, my yes's & my no's. I saw the world in a much more black and white world. (Boundary issues)
- I became quite more shy with new people and in trying new things, in new places & as the years went by I gravitated towards potential boyfriends that were smaller in size that I was, and more meek in personality (My seeking safety & power over the situation, you know... just in case.)
The 2nd issue I am still working through is of course, the anxiety itself. For those of you just checking in, I was on Effexor, but have since weaned off. (For more information, click here.) Anxiety is a beast all it's own. It is not only physical, it is emotional and very much mental. Anxiety can be triggered by certain foods or beverages, memories, scents, ANYTHING... so I encourage you, as you wean, or as you simply want to find a more peaceful approach to dealing with anxiety; search for people, hobbies, pastimes, places that can offer you breathing room. I personally LOVE me some afternoon walks in some serene nearby trails and neighborhoods. It really does help me process & rid myself of thoughts not worth keeping. Try it, what's the worst that could happen, you get a little sunshine? :-)
“Get used to it. Life doesn't give, it takes. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.”
― Diana Palmer, Donavan (Long, tall Texans, #9; Silhouette Romance #843)