Right now, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. As in, I fidget a lot, I’m always aware of the presence of others physically near me, and I clam up when touched (i.e., hugged, kissed, brushed up against, caressed, etc.) I believe this symptomatic of anxiety. It isn’t an attack, it isn’t in high levels but it is there… reminding me of how isolated I can become if I allow it to take over. I love hugs, don’t get me wrong. It just seems as though it takes my brain a few delayed seconds to grasp the process of it before it relaxes my body to reciprocate the affectionate gesture.
Which boils down to what?
Why would someone be anxious that someone else get too close? Maybe because they fear being hurt. Or possibly because they aren't sure if that person should be trusted?
Both reasons are an appropriate fit. Because I was not capable of feeling any extreme emotion during the time that I was taking the Effexor, I too wasn't having to work through any past scenarios that caused hurt or my fears of potentially being hurt again. I was relatively care free. I trusted that touch, that hug, that caress. And here I am today very much scathed, jaded if you will, always anticipating betrayal, or abandonment and watching the dynamic of my existing relationships change shape and form. Here I am cognitively processing a stinkin hug. Don't worry, I'm offended for the both of us.