For those of you who know me, know that it's no new thing that I've had troubles at work since beginning my employment with this Santa Clara based company that I plug all of my energys into day after day. And, it's no news to you that the harassment of those around me, including superiors has come in waves. Today though I think is a start (or an end) to the mundane, "pretend its not happening" world that I've been forced to suffer through. Because today, I'm sounding the horn on it all. Today, is the LAST day I allow someone who esteems himself as "better" than me to belittle me, degrade me, bully me, or disrespect me again. At first, I worked harder because I was always told that you earn respect. I was sure to always work on his items first, to try and go above and beyond so as to leave little room for him to single me out or have reason to speak to me condescendingly. But two years later, I realized that it isn't so much about who I am, but who HE is. The issue and the burden lay with him and him alone. I don't believe that it is ever okay to disrespect one another, no matter how angry you become or how inconvenienced you are. I've always said that you don't know a person's true character until you see them react while upset.
I'm embarassed by some of these people's behavior. I am embarrassed though, again the burden should not be mine to carry. It's disheartening to meet such unhappiness, such intentional malice and carelessly spread hurt. But it's been two years now and it is not my problem and I'm glad that I'm able to see that now instead of constantly questioning what is so wrong with me? What is so bad about me? Is my personality that hard to take? Did I do something to this person without realizing? Where is all of this hate coming from? I have to work for this person, will it ever get better?
Anyway, I've come to accept that there is no future for me here, and am okay with it. Life is movement... No thanks on the being mistreated, I'll just keep it moving.