- light headed in the early evening (3)
-slight head ache in the back of my head (5)
-hot flashes a few times throughout the day (6)
I've spent a little extra time commuting this week with the hell week that is 4th Quarter Field Meetings and it's allowed me a bit more "me" time to think about things. That being said, I couldn't help but acknowledge that this week, the one week that I feared would be one of my worst in the midst of needing to be at my best, has gone so smoothly that I dare admit that I even feel happy... joyful even. Happiness, of course, is relative; it is fast fleeting and more likely than not, it is temporary. Joy, however, is internal. Joy is a happiness that embodies deep down into your soul, a type of happy that not only comes from within but reaches on out and touches those around you. Joy, my dear friends, is from the almighty God; a happy that is only offered to us through his grace, by his stripes and for his glory. Like anyone else, I have my ailments (obvi, the contents in this one blog in itself being a few) but we as a human race are very much adaptable and in many cases may not even realize the things we are "okaying" i.e., adapting to until we take a good look at ourselves in the mirror and see how much we have truly changed, that is, if we even recognize ourselves at all.
I've had a few people that are either keeping up with my progress express that they see me as strong, or admire the strength that they see in me despite there being plenty of reasons to stop moving forward. And I am honored that they see me in this light and I am proud of myself sometimes as well when I happen to look at the day and realize I'm more than halfway to my end goal. But, and this is a HUGE but... what I've learned, if nothing else through my lifetime is that this strength is not my own, but that of the Lord Jesus Christ who lives in me. I may not be perfect, in fact i KNOW that I am imperfect, but I know who I belong to. I know who strengthens me, I know who loves me, who will never leave my side and who will never show me a situation that I cannot handle. God.
Driving around this week and being left to my own thoughts, I was firstly grateful that I even had thoughts to think. I've had a clear mind this week, and cognitively have felt much more myself and i just thanked God for that. And then I thought about other situations that have been oribiting my health issues with the weaning and everything and I thought,
"Wow, God you've really set certain things in motion to ease the situation, to alleviate the negative emotions that can become too overwhelming, and you've allowed and (not allowed) certain situations in protection of my succeeding through this. THANK YOU."
It's important to not only focus on the trial but on the triumphs, the large and the small. Because had I not had this "hell week" at work, would I have come to be so grateful and appreciative that God carried me through it so that my work ethic would not suffer along with my physical body? If I had not had car issues, would I still be here watching how God put multiple people and outcomes to work in my favor so that I can get the situation fixed and taken care of without having another door slam in my face? If I had not felt so ill last week, would I be as appreciative of simply feeling "normal" this week?
Today, I encourage you to "zoom out your lens." During difficult situations we tend to view things through a lens that sits focused and zoomed right into our issues.... zoom out. Take in the rest of what is yours. Take in the rest of what defines you, makes you who you are, and what blesses you every single day. Make sure that all of the blessings that sit in the background of that range of view are just as in focus and give them just as much importance. Because if it weren't for the not-so-great parts of our lives, how could we be thankful for the absolutely awesome ones?